how i wish dating worked:
HEY BEARD DUDE WHO JUST WALKED OUTTA THE MUSIC ROOM, YOU FLY AS HELL LET’S DRINK BEER AND THEN DO THE SEX
“do your homework”
“clean your room”
“hang out with your friends”
“Stop posting this gif every week”
Do you like tea?
What perfume/cologne do you wear?
What's a book that had a strong impact on you?
Who was the last person you sent a letter to?
What in your life are you most grateful for?
Would you change your name if you could?
What's your favorite month?
At a movie theature, which armrest is yours?
What's a band a family member introduced you to?
Can you make paper snowflakes?
What was the name of your first stuffed animal?
Have you ever been on a boat in the ocean?
Would you rather be overdressed or underdressed at every party?
What's your favorite thing about yourself?
What is your spirit animal?
Least favorite vegetable?
What color are your socks right now?
If you had unlimited money to one shop, which shop would it be?
Are you allergic to anything?
Top three favorite bands?
Do you want children?
Can you whistle?
Do you like accents?
Oh, very good, you did take that left turn just like I told you! Great job.
Alright, dear, now- if you can, please take that turn. Oh, you missed it? That's fine. Just make a U-Turn. Bless you.
You tried, and therefore I will not criticize you!
Just take that right up there- shit, I fucked that up- LEFT. LEFT. LEFT!
You're extremely peripatetic, aren't you? I hope our voluble discourse and superlative conversation has alleviated your ennui. Oh fuck, you've missed the turning.
turn left. And by left I mean right.
god, what am I doing with my life-- I SAID LEFT
ehh-err-- I think we should go left.
Oh my god, you guys, I have this great story to tell you. Okay, so it started with me carrying all this luggage like -- oh crap, go left. Go back and then take a right so you can take the left that you should've taken.
So, at the next fucking opportunity you're going to take a fucking left. I fucking hate left turns, though, d'y'know what I fucking mean? So actually take a fucking right and just make a few more fucking right turns. Who the fuck invented fucking left turns, anyway? Amanda hates them, too. I'd rather walk, really, you know? Oh, wait, stop here, that looks like a fucking good record store.